Do you ever get hit with the overwhelming thought, “I have no idea what to talk about!” on a first date? You’re not alone. Although it can be a little nerve wracking to meet a new man, you can arrive at your date with confidence!
A curious woman can easily open a man’s heart and encourage him to let down his guard.
This involves more than talking about work and the weather. You want to know what lights up his heart and what’s important to him. Encourage your date to show his true colors. With the right kind of engaging questions, this can be accomplished. Through well thought out questions, you will start to gain a glimpse into his deeply rooted values. What a great way to squash those first date jitters!
A happy medium is key to a successful conversation
Before we go any further, it should be mentioned that you are not expected to show up with pen and paper and interview your date. No, thank you! Don’t turn your dates into an interrogation scene from your favorite crime drama, but rather use questions as a stepping stone between topics and gently insert them into the conversation.
It is important to remind you what the real purpose of being curious is all about. You want to get to know your date, yes, but you are not going through a mental checklist to ensure he fits the bill. If you can, avoid evaluating each and every response, but instead, genuinely be curious to simply get to know him on a deeper level. If he is opening up on a topic or you see his eyes light up, keep the conversation going! Continue to dive in and give him the green light to delve deeper into what he loves. There should never be any pressure to have to switch topics to ensure you get through your list of questions.
Open-ended questions lead to interesting discoveries
Don’t forget to keep the questions open-ended and light. Remember: the purpose of asking compelling questions is to help you to get to know your date on a deeper level. Even if your date is not a match, you’ll still have had the opportunity to have an engaging conversation with an interesting man.
Review the questions below and choose a few to get started with. Over time, you can tweak this list so it feels most comfortable and natural for you.
- Who have you been quarantined with and what has this been like?
- What’s the one thing you really want to do when everything re-opens?
- Which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?
- Who is your best friend and what do you admire about him/her?
- What is your favorite memory from your childhood?
- What makes you smile?
- What does an ideal Saturday look like for you?
- Who is the most important person in your life?
- What were you like as a kid?
- Where is your happy place?
Active listening is sexy
As important as asking the right questions is, listening may be at the top of the list when it comes to a first date conversation. Questions fuel the fire throughout the conversation, but the responses, your reactions and your replies matter too. As you are listening to your date ask yourself things like:
- What positive qualities did I discover about my date?
- What is something new that I learned tonight about him?
- How are we similar?
- How are we different?
- What do I want to know more about?
Bring out the gratitude and be thankful for all you have learned about your date!
Your authenticity is magnetic
While it is important for you to ask engaging questions and show curiosity in your date, this should not take away from allowing your own heart shine. As engaging as you are in the question asking, also be receptive and open in your responses.
I know it can be difficult to let your soul shine, especially when you may be bringing some trauma or pain from your past. This is where it requires a bit more strength on your part to just be yourself. Sure, you may date a man who doesn’t appreciate who you are, but this will just bring you closer to finding the man who loves every inch of you! Your authentic heart will capture a man more easily than a guarded and protected one.
Now is the time to bring more confidence to your dates so you can spark a deeper connection. It is time to impress his socks off and show up differently than the other women out there. The best way to do it? Be yourself and own every bit that is authentically you. Your ideal man is craving realness, flowing conversations and deep connection. If you’re all about asking questions that provoke insightful conversation, but unsure where to begin or need an extra boost of confidence to get started, book a FREE 30-minute breakthrough call today.