The holiday season is just around the corner, and while it’s a time of joy and anticipation, it can quickly shift to dread, fear and loneliness for single women over 40.  It also influences dating choices this time of year. It’s known as “cuffing season” in the dating world – single people who may not want to be in a relationship decide to “handcuff” themselves to a significant other just so they aren’t lonely during the holidays.

Instead of sticking with a relationship you don’t want, there are some practical and positive things you can do for yourself to brighten your holiday season. Here are three tips to get you through the last few months of the year:

  1. Friends, Friends, and more Friends

Now is the time to surround yourself with your friends and other singles. You may want to host your own Friendsgiving! Ask your friends to bring a dish to share and their single friends – the more, the merrier!

Consider taking a weekend getaway with a few of your friends to explore somewhere new.  Imagine lounging on the beach, sipping cocktails with your friends or maybe you prefer to explore the sights and sounds of a large city.  Either way take this time to get out, explore and go on an adventure.

If you prefer to stay close to home, take a look at the entertainment options in your area. Are there holiday events, concerts, or movies that you can attend with a few friends? Buy the tickets in advance so you’re more likely to commit.

Expand your friend circle and meet new people by taking a cooking class or trying a new class at the gym. You can also find groups to join that get together regularly and hold events – such as book clubs or running groups – on sites like

The focus of all of these ideas is having fun and spending time with people whose company you enjoy.


  1. Re-examine your Expectations

Are you trying to live up to the unrealistic standards set out by romantic comedies? Keep in mind that very few people live the life you see in movies.  Forget the fairy tales and focus on what’s important to you! Decide what you want in a relationship and what you want your life to look like. What’s right for you?  

Are your social media feeds causing you stress because they’re full of photos of happy couples? Limit the amount of time you spend on Facebook and Instagram. When you are online, it’s OK to be proud of the things you’re doing with your friends. Be empowered to share photos and new memories being made with people that are important to you!

Are you worried about not having the perfect date for your company’s holiday party? You don’t have to go through the experience alone. Make plans with your best friend or friend group at your workplace to stick together for the night. Consider bringing a friend from outside of the workplace – I guarantee you’ll have a great time.

  1. Start your own HolidayTraditions

It’s time for you to look for new ways to celebrate the holidays that won’t remind you of your ex. Now’s the time to do the things that YOU like or that you put off when you were in a relationship. Make a new dessert for Christmas Eve, or try a new breakfast recipe for New Year’s Day. You might not want to cook at all. Save yourself some stress, grab a friend, and go to a restaurant that’s known for its holiday food or celebrations. Or get cozy at home and have food delivered.

There’s lots of downtime during the holidays and you can use it to relax and enjoy the things you don’t usually have time for. Go see the latest blockbuster at the movie theater or binge watch a new TV show. Treat yourself by having a spa day or getting a mani-pedi. Grab something from that pile of books on your nightstand you’ve been meaning to read, order a peppermint latte, and settle in at a cozy coffee shop for the afternoon.

Spending the holidays alone can be hard, but this is an opportunity for you to spend time with your friends, re-examine your expectations, and do the things that make you happy.  Start your own traditions and get creative! When you establish these new experiences and find things that make you happy around the holidays, you’ll start to look forward to them year after year.

Now, If you’re a woman over 40 years old who is tired of spending another holiday season alone and is ready to take action NOW and share your life with a loving, supportive man who cherishes and respects you, then go ahead and apply for my Breakthrough 6-Week 1:1 Coaching Program.  In this program you will increase your confidence, learn to quiet your inner create, create your dating plan and start attracting high quality men!

Start by clicking this link to schedule your complimentary consultation call and we can discuss if my program is right for you.